I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
