Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
