Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
