I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
so much tequila, so little girl.
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