Who did Billy Mays play for?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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