i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
