She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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