More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
