Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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