Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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