You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
