Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
