just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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