Betty ford says i'm here all night
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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