I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
