Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
