I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
