Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Randomize
