thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
