dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize