This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
