We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
