You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize