I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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