Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
