I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
