Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
