i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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