Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
pop tarts are not kleenex
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
