No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
