They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize