She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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