Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
