You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize