ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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