i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
