i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
and you said cock pushups were impossible
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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