Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
