No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
