People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
