She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
