i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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