im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
