So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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