i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
