you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
