He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
There r osticjed everywhere
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
