So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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