You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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