My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
