Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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