I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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