I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
