is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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