I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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