So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
