It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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