you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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