Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
