There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
