In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
