just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize