The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Randomize
