so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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