You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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