I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
When did we convert life to cartoon?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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