I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
