He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize