I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
