No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
