when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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