Rock
Scissors
Fuck
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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