He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
