bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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