I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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