my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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